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In my experience there’s always an underlying well of resentment in these men.Look at how much they have to pay attention to everyone else’s needs while sacrificing their own.The dysfunction often shows up the clearest in their relationships with others.A narcissistic mother’s marriage (worse if she doesn’t have a husband) often suffers when unhealthy triangles dominate her love-life.The two most common triangles are: son-mother-father and wife-son-mother.When the narcissistic mother has dug her claws into her dependent son you can pretty much bet there are underlying marital problems in the mother’s marriage to her husband.
Of course this kind of emotional arrangement can get pretty complicated when her son’s wife is trying to get her mother-in-law’s ‘love.’ A lot of people are psychologically immature when they get married and try to compensate for what they didn’t get in childhood (love) now from their spouse’s family. Problem is, it’s bound to be disappointing when your mother-in-law is narcissistic.The complication from the son’s side is, not wanting to let go of his mother.Some men reach adulthood but they are not yet finished with their mothers.I would recommend to such a man that he not get married until he is ready to ‘divorce’ his mother. The plan is, stay bonded to mom until such time that you are convinced that it is time to separate, meaning go off and commit to another woman.This other woman, your wife, in effect becomes #1 in your new life. And by the way, your marriage has a better chance of surviving if this more complete commitment has occurred.
When your mother-in-law is still pulling the strings on her son, things can get pretty dicey especially when there is conflict between you and your husband.