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(If one more person with a spouse asks me, “But have you tried online dating?” I swear I will scream.)It’s easy to let your mind go wild with “the grass is always greener” fantasies and convince yourself that marital status equates some kind of superiority. Trust me, I’ve been down this rabbit hole a thousand times and the only place it leads is straight into an entire row of Oreos.“Dating is supposed to be an opportunity to spend time with another person, one who might see the world differently than you.Asking questions and fully engaging with the other person can open your mind to new ideas, introduce you to different ways of living, and help you understand the experiences that led you both to where you are today” Meg explains.This is Relationship 101, but I think it bears repeating in the context of casual, non-serious, non-exclusive relationships. Whatever your truth is, don’t be shy about sharing it. I’m not a psychologist, but I’m self-aware enough to realize that there’s a reason I keep finding myself entangled in romantic situations that are, for lack of a more delicate term, “doomed from the start.” I want what I can’t have. Say yes to more second dates, keep a more open mind when swiping right and trying to meet more (and more diverse) people.When you’ve made up your mind to “explore,” let your dates know. The more you allow yourself to look inward with honesty and reflect upon your choices and the patterns you see, the better chance you have of knowing the person who is right for you with Coach Taylor levels of clarity.
(And vice versa, of course.) Feel grateful for the opportunities you have to meet new people, learn about yourself and experience some variety—it’s the spice of life, after all.Cronin identified three groups of students in the college dating scene: people hooking up; couples partaking in codependent, pseudo-married relationships; and single people opting out of dating altogether.These people who “opt out” are either too busy or just can’t seem to find the right person, so they give up.Kerry Cronin, a professor of Philosophy at Boston College, made the news a few years ago by assigning a pretty radical project to her senior seminar. Something simple in theory but nerve-wracking in application.What Cronin was really getting to the heart of was a behavior that she’d been observing all around her on campus.
I am the world’s biggest believer that every romantic paramour—however briefly they may stay—comes into your life for a reason.